Comfort
by PoeticallyPathetic19
Summary: This is a fan fic of Blood Diamond and there are spoilers for some parts. So be warned!


Chapter 1

Maddy Bowen leaned forward and took Archer's hand gently. She wanted to do more. Say more. But she was afraid that even this was overstepping her boundaries. Danny Archer was a solider, a man. He'd never known comfort in his life and she was afraid he would take this the wrong way.

As a sign of weakness and not simply one of caring.

She didn't think less of him for this; in fact she felt more for him. For once Archer had allowed himself to be seen as human instead of some common smuggler with amazing good looks and skill.

Archer seemed to hesitate for a moment before lifting his head to look at her, his eyes glittered with unshed tears. Tears he hadn't shed in twenty-two years. She stared back at him, offering what she could. She didn't want to scare him away but at the same time she didn't want him to think she didn't care, that she wouldn't do for him what no one else had. Because she would, she wanted to.

When he returned her hold mimicked her gentle caress of his hand with her thumb, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the back of his hand. Archer's face showed as much surprise as Maddy felt. She really hadn't meant to or planned to kiss him, even if it was just his hand.

But suddenly she wanted to do more then kiss his hand. She wanted to lean forward and press her forehead to his, wrap her arms around him and let him cry about the loss of his innocence, his family, his friends, his life. Twenty-two years and he'd probably never even been held.

Still she held back. Just because this was okay, didn't mean he would take well to her holding him or kissing him. Even if he was a man.

Archer was a different kind of man and she couldn't imagine him using this as an excuse to get laid. Not when he'd had more than one opportunity to get into her pants. She hadn't exactly been frigid with him.

She couldn't be. Not when she wanted him like she did.

Maddy had been many places and seen many people over the years as a journalist. But never had she fallen for one of those people, least of all a smuggler who seemed to be doing exactly what she was fighting against.

Then again that wasn't fair. She knew that as rough as Archer came off deep down he was a good man. He was reacting to the life he'd always known, the things he'd faced in his thirty-one years, and his need to escape it.

Doing this would get him out of this life, off this continent and somewhere he could be safe and not have to worry about rebels or the government storming into his city and destroying what little he had acquired.

The more time she spent with him the harder she fell, the more time she stared at him the harder it became not to lean forward and do what she wanted. Her eyes flicked to his mouth, the soft pout of his lips suddenly the only thing she could focus on besides the warmth and strength of his hand in hers.

He wasn't far from her, she would only have to move a few inches to close that distance between their lips. She knew what would happen then, because she knew Archer. She knew the way he reacted to things.

Archer would take control of the situation. He would be demanding and giving all at once and he would claim her. It wouldn't be just sex or making love, this would be a commitment in some way.

In every way.

This wasn't some random meeting in a bar. He knew her and she knew him. They'd been through a lot together in such a short time; they were already connected on some level. This would seal the deal so to speak and there would be no going back.

She didn't want to go back, but she was afraid to go forward too. She felt like she was taking advantage of him in some way or forcing him into something that in the morning, under different circumstances wouldn't be something he really wanted.

Maddy wouldn't be the one to make the decision though, because before she could do or say anything more Benjamin was standing in front of them, their hands now dropped. Maddy looked up at him, her face burning. Had she really almost kissed Archer? Worse, had Benjamin known what was going on?

Benjamin smiled kindly at them and if he had any indication of what had or hadn't happened, he didn't show it. And neither did Archer. He watched Benjamin expectantly, lounging against the siding once more as if nothing had happened.

"If you are ready, I thought I'd show you to your rooms."

Maddy returned the smile and nodded. "Thank you."

He gave a nod of his head and then he was gone as quickly as he had come, leaving Maddy to sit in awkward silence with Archer. Their hands suddenly and inexplicably joined again. By her own actions, she would later realize. She shifted uncomfortably and glanced at Archer out of the corner of her eye.

He was watching her.

She stood up, still unconsciously holding his hand, and moved to stand between his outspread legs. He watched her curiously but didn't move, waiting for her to make the decision for them both. Or maybe just for herself. She had no idea what was going on in his head, she rarely did.

What was going on in her head right now though, was certainly not what was running through his mind. He was waiting for her to take him in as a lost cause or some charity case out of a sick need for screwed up vets, like her father. To pat him on the head and tell him everything would be all right. To make promises she never intended to keep and try and heal him or whatever it was Americans did with their feelings. She on the other hand was wondering what it would feel like to crawl into his lap, straddle his hips, and devour his mouth.

Charity cases and lost causes were the last thing on her mind.

She was wondering if his lips would taste as full and sweet as they looked; or if his warm, strong hands would be rough or gentle against her skin, and if his hair would feel as soft between her fingers as it looked.

There was no thought of false promises or anything other than showing him she cared about him, that she wanted him. But neither could read the other's mind and the look on his face, the empty, cool indifference as he waited shook her certainty in his claiming of her.

So she tugged on his hand, unable to completely distance herself from him. And when he stood she didn't move far enough back to keep them from touching and found herself pressed into his chest, her breasts rubbing against him with every breath.

A shiver of anticipation and excitement ran through her and she bit down sharply on her tongue before she could moan or say something equally embarrassing. The small hitch in his breathing didn't help her fight.

Maddy rubbed her thumb back and forth over his hand and smiled as best she could before tugging on his hand again. She needed to get around other people before she made a mistake that they would both regret.

Once inside the house she reluctantly let his hand go and followed Benjamin down the hall to her room. Archer's was the one next to hers and Solomon's was two doors down. She was amazed at how much space there actually was in the house or at how kind Benjamin was to make it that way for them.

She said her good nights, barely making eye contact with Archer, and then quickly threw herself into her room. Tonight had been much different then she expected. He'd opened up to her a lot more than she had expected as well.

Sure she had already known that his parents were killed and the he became a soldier soon after, but for him to tell her that, to share the details himself was huge. And the emotion he'd actually shown was beyond anything she had seen from him.

Maybe there was hope for him after all.

Sighing she changed out of her clothes and climbed into bed, pulling the sheets tight around her. She could still feel his hand warm in hers, his large strong fingers curled tightly around hers, his thumb making circles.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her breathing slowing as amazing as that seemed to her. After tonight she wasn't sure if she could ever breathe normally again, let alone have it slow enough for her to sleep. But it did and soon she was fast asleep.

Maddy glanced around. Why was she alone? Where were Archer and Solomon? And when did she get here? Suddenly the feeling of fear and confusion came rushing back. It was too quiet here and she was alone. She pushed herself up off the ground and found she was standing at the top of a steep incline.

The last place she had seen Archer she realized.

"Archer?" she called, her voice more frantic then she had intended. "Archer?"

She scrambled down the steep incline, nearly falling twice. She steadied herself for the second time and took a deep breath. Getting herself killed wasn't going to do either of them any good.

She didn't know where Solomon was or even where she was. All she could remember was seeing Archer's smiling face; feel his lips pressed against her forehead before he hurried her up the incline and then made his way back down. He'd told her to stay there, stay down and hidden.

There was gunfire, yelling, struggling, a thousand noises at once and all she could hear was the pounding of her heart and the rush of blood in her ears. Then everything went quiet and she still didn't see Archer, or Solomon, or anyone. She was alone.

Remarkably calmer as she remembered the feel of Archer's lips on her forehead, her feet hit solid, steady earth. Maddy moved forward cautiously, keeping her eyes open as she called for Archer.

She heard a small sound, from around the turn, a grunt maybe? Following the sound she felt her heart sink and her stomach drop. She'd found Archer. Swallowing around the lump in her throat she rushed forward and drop to her knees by his side.

He'd propped himself up against a boulder, his head tilted back and arms stiff at his side. He heard her approach but said nothing, only lifting a hand in a half wave.

"Archer?" she whispered, placing gentle hands to his face. "Archer, please."

He rolled his head to the side and smiled up at her. "Maddy."

"No," she said defiantly, tears leaking from her eyes. She knew without his saying that he was dying. She didn't need to see the blood running down his side and pooling in the dry earth, she didn't need for him to say anything other than her name for her to know.

He shook his head and cupped the back of her neck with his right hand. She bit down hard on her lower lip and leaned her forehead against his. This wasn't fair. He'd done so much to change things for himself, to help Solomon and his family. He didn't deserve this, any of this.

Maddy choked back a sob and forced his name past her lips once more. "I'm sorry, so sorry."

"I'm glad I met you, Maddy. Don't be sorry."

"I'm glad I met you," she said. "But you can't do this, I can't lose you. Please."

She was so close to pleading it was pathetic, but she didn't care. It was true. She needed him to stay with her. Things had just gotten started, he had his whole life ahead of him, a new life.

A life they could share.

"I don't want to leave you," he said, his voice pained. "But I don't have much of a choice. The colonel was right, this is my home and I can never leave."

"You can," she insisted. "You can leave, we can leave her together. We can help Solomon and his family, we can…we can start our own!"

He laughed softly. "I wish I'd gotten on that plane now. I wish we both had."

"I do too."

Maddy woke then, shaking and gasping for breath. Her chest was tight from crying, her whole body ached and she couldn't focus on anything. All she could see was darkness, then flashes of his smile, his hands trying to comfort her, and then…he was gone.

She choked back a sob. No. He wasn't gone. They weren't together. And a family? When had she ever even planned on having a family?!

It was crazy. Insane.

And it hurt like hell.

She threw back the sheet and stared up at the ceiling, trying to slow her breathing. It was just a dream, she repeated over and over. Just a dream. Archer was alive and well in the next room, probably asleep.

The longer she lay there without him though, the more she began to wonder. There were low voices down the hall from her room and the gentle scraping of the chair on the floor, but she couldn't make out the voices. Couldn't be sure one of them was Archer's.

This is ridiculous, she scolded herself. Archer is a grown man, a _soldier_ for Christ sakes! He could protect himself, take care of himself. He'd been doing it over twenty years just fine without her. And they were safe here with Benjamin.

There was no reason for her to think that anything bad had happened to Archer, not now, not here. He was probably up with Solomon discussing the quickest way to get to the diamond, or whatever it is they talked about when she wasn't around. They were probably just about to go to bed because they had to get up early in the morning.

But he certainly wasn't bleeding to death anywhere.

Not now.

No matter how many times she told herself that, or reminded herself that he could take care of himself and that they were safe here, she couldn't shake that feeling of loss or grief. It was like she had already lost him and was reliving it over and over again.

Maddy had to make sure he was there and still breathing. Swearing under her breath she threw her legs to the floor and crossed the room. As she reached for the door knob she realized she was shaking badly, so much it took her three times to actually open the door.

Taking a deep breath she made her way down the hall towards the voices and the only light on in the house. Peeking around the corner she breathed a small sigh of relief. There sitting in the chair to the far left was Archer, his dirty blonde head cocked at an angle. Solomon to his right and Benjamin to his.

She took a step into the room, waiting for them to notice her. Right now she didn't have enough breath left in her body to make herself known any other way. Solomon noticed her first, his deep brown eyes turned worried as he took in her appearance. Archer followed his gaze and then Benjamin.

"Maddy?" they asked, their chairs scraping as they stood quickly.

She shook her head and held up a hand to stop them all from converging on her as if she were dying. If they knew what was really wrong they would laugh at her or think she had finally lost her mind. Maybe both.

Archer frowned but said nothing as he looked her over. Her dark brown hair was piled on top of her head, an oversized blue button up shirt hung to just above her knees revealing tight black shorts. And her entire body was slicked with sweat and shaking.

She was terrified.

He never thought he'd see the day that Maddy Bowen was terrified.

"Archer?" she choked out. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He nodded at her in confusion and crossed the room, not sparing a glance back at the two men watching worriedly. She forced a small smile and led Archer from the room and out onto the front porch.

He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for her to begin. She opened her mouth and then closed it. What could she say? That she just needed him to talk to her, to let her hear his voice so she knew that he was okay and with her?

That would be admitting far too much to him. Putting herself out on the line for someone she wasn't completely sure felt the same way for her. And would only complicate things further. The more she thought about what had happened earlier that night the more foolish she felt.

Archer wasn't thinking of claiming her or touching her. He was thinking of this diamond, of getting out. Nothing more.

When she didn't say anything he dropped his arms and took a step closer to her, clenching and unclenching his fists at his side to keep from touching her. That was the last thing she need right now, he thought. Some creep making a move on her.

"Maddy?"

She shook her head in response and locked her arms tightly around his neck before she could think twice about it. She knew that if she really thought about what she was doing, she would just run from him. Back to her room and her nightmares.

And she wasn't sure if she could handle seeing him die twice in one night.

He wrapped his arms awkwardly around her and held her close. He wasn't used to comforting women or anyone for that matter, had never even done it in his life. But for her he was willing to try because Maddy was unlike any other woman he had ever met. She made him want to try.

She made him want a lot of things.

When she buried her face in his neck he realized that she was crying. Her body was still shaking and trembling, the slick sheen of sweat covering her body chilled her in the night air and she shook harder.

"Maddy?" he asked again quietly. "What's wrong?"

She took a deep shuddering breath and shook her head. How could she tell him she was reacting this way to a dream? A dream about him no less. He would never understand that and she was afraid she had already made a fool of herself with the clinging way she'd held his hand earlier that night.

But Archer wouldn't let it go. That was like asking him not to breathe, to stop being a solider. And asking her to stop being such a pain in the ass. It just wouldn't happen.

"Maddy," he prodded.

"Archer, please," she whispered. "I can't right now."

He searched her face for some sign of what was scaring her. It had to be pretty bad if she wouldn't even tell him. She was never shy about coming right out with whatever she wanted or needed to say. So why now of all times did she feel the need to shut up?

After a few moments of awkward silence and feeling her shift uncomfortably, for both of them, against him he gave up and just held her tight. He rocked her back and forth on the darkened porch until her breathing returned to normal and then slowed. Her body going lax in his arms as she drifted back to sleep.

He could do this. For her, he could do this.

Chapter 2


End file.
